[Bigkegman]

YOUR weekly round-up of the last seven days' gossip and rumours from around Scotland's football grounds.

Aberdeen

As trailed so helpfully in this very column some weeks ago, Darren Mackie has gone and signed a new deal with the Dons. The striker will now stay at Pittodrie until 2009. Let's see what Darren has to say about all things contract shaped: "I've never made a secret of the fact that I wanted to stay here and I'm delighted that we've sorted something out. There's a real feeling of optimism in the squad right now." You probably wouldn't want to make a secret of wanting a new deal, certainly not during negotiations. "Would you like to sign on again Darren?"..."Won't say"..."Well we'd love to keep you."..."Loose lips, sink ships"..."Come on Darren, what's it to be?"..."Keep mum, she's not so dumb"..."Right get out and take your Second World War slogans with you."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Celtic

Paul Hartley eh? Now that's a nice bit of close-of-the-transfer-window business for the Super Hoops. We best see what Mr Hartley has to say for himself: "I'm over the moon. It's a dream come true for a boyhood Celtic supporter like me and I'm glad that I'm finally here. I've come here to win silverware and hopefully I can achieve that." Now I'm no football expert (I am really), but I get the feeling there may just be an SPL title in the post.

As Hartley arrives so does Maloney leave to join the Martin O'Neil Celtic 2002 revival project at Aston Villa. But Wee Gordon's remaining philosophical, if a little heartbroken: "It's disappointing to lose all good players. It was disappointing when Roy Keane retired, when Stilian Petrov left, when John Hartson moved on, when Chris Sutton left. It's more disappointing because Shaun was young and I was very close to him"

Spot the deliberate mistake in John Collins' quotes and I'll give you ninepence. Hibs had just turned down a Celtic bid, apparently in the region of £4.25 million, for Kevin Thompson and Scott Brown. Now look what John Collins had to say for himself: "I'm very happy but not surprised. We have been saying for months now that the players are not for sale. So when the transfer window closes in a few days' time hopefully we can get back to talking about football." Not for sale you say John? Or not for sale to Celtic? Cos I'm sure that was Kevin Thomson I saw signing for Rangers. Wahey.

No moaning from Wee Gordon over Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink getting his marching orders following his last minute winner against Caley. He went tonto and sprinted to the crowd, cue second yellow card and a bit of a red face. But Gordon took it in good part: "We can't complain. We know the rules. But it's different from stadiums where the crowd is miles away from you. It's right beside you at the back of the net." Someone could have had an eye out.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dundee Utd

You've just drawn 0-0 with Dunfermline, some character whacks a microphone in front of your face, what do you say? Play 'You're the Craig Levein' and win absolutely nothing of value. If you said a) "Don't you offer me that again", you'd be wrong. If you said b) "I'm telling you G, it's the cheddar that counts. It's all about the Benjamins", again you'd be incorrect. The answer was c). Let's have a look at that answer in full: "It was a game we should have won. But, because I have been critical of our defending in recent weeks, in the interests of fairness, I will say we defended excellently. I spoke with Derek Stillie after the match and he told me it was the easiest game he had ever played in goal in. On another day, we would have scored." Should have played it another day then, when you realised you weren't go to score I mean. I'm sure that's allowed.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dunfermline

More player signing activity down at East End Park, with the arrival of Jamie Harris on an 18 month contract. He's 27, he's Welsh and he's been with Shelbourne for the last three years. It's probably best to turn to manager Stephen Kenny for a comment since at the time of going to press Sue Pollard wasn't available. Mr Kenny said this: "He's a big lad, a commanding player, who plays mainly at centre-back. He has spent five years in Ireland, initially as a centre forward, and he is comfortable in possession." *insert mean-spirited joke about relegation here*

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Falkirk

John Hughes had some consoling words for his side after they lost out to Kilmarnock. Bathe in his munificence: "The goals we lost were poor. But this is not the time to be critical as we did well to get here. We still have another cup competition and are chasing the top six in the league, so this is the time to encourage them."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hearts

No Georgian for the Jambos. Gogita Gogua of Spartak Nilchik will not be joining Hearts despite claims it was done, dusted and deeply dippy. There could be a move for Ognjen Koroman, a Serbian apparently, who is currently on loan at Portsmouth from Terek Grozny. But there's an unspecified problem with the move as Ivanauskas so helpfully explains here: "There is a big question over him. It's not money, but I don't want to say exactly what the situation is."

Michal Pospisil has turned down the chance to move to Bristol City, because he 'couldn't agree personal terms'. Or as I like to think of it 'they wouldn't pay him enough money'. But whatever the reason, *cough* cash *cough*, his agent Elliot van Til outlined the situation in this style: "Michal was very flattered by the interest shown by Bristol City and he was very impressed by the manager. But he's decided to stay with Hearts and fight for his place. He'll review the situation at the end of the season." Or: "He'll see if they want to pay him more once he's sulked a bit". I love footballers.

What in the name of God is going on here then? Let us see what Vladimir Romanov told a Belorussian magazine: "In Scotland we have to fight not in the sporting sense, but against constant intrigues. There was no conflict whatsoever (in Pressley's departure), there was a banal betrayal. Players sold themselves for the striped shirts they were promised; they decided that these were so valuable that they could allow themselves to behave the way they did." I am saying nothing, NOTHING.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hibernian

York City are simply having none of it. Despite the Hibees having signed up their striker Clayton Donaldson to a pre-contract agreement and offering the Conference Johnnys fifty bags, they won't let the 22 year-old go before the end of the season. He'll move to Edinburgh for nowt in the summer, but until then he goes nowhere. Managing director of York, Jason McGill laid down the law in classic fashion: "Although we have been offered £50,000 from Hibernian for Clayton to leave immediately, our position remains the same, Clayton Donaldson will stay at York City until the end of the season. We only hope the intervention of this transfer arrangement has not unsettled our player and that Clayton will still perform to the best of his ability." You tell them Jason, don't let the big boys push you around. Well Hibs anyway.

Andrew McNeil will be staying with the Hibees at least until 2009.He said: "I am very pleased with the way things have gone in the last month, and now I'm looking forward to retaining my place in the Hibs team. Hopefully I can be part of a successful side competing at the very top of the Scottish game." Let's hope so Andrew.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Inverness CT

I went to see Caley play Ross County in Dingwall once, and to be perfectly honest, they didn't seem to like each other very much. So I do wonder how the County fans feel about their captain apparently signing a pre-contract agreement with Caley. According to a thing I've just read *holds up piece of gin-stained paper*, Don Cowie will join the local rivals in the summer after seven years with County. The deal's not done yet, but my sources (which in fact don't exist) tell me it's a goer.

The rather unusual game with Celtic has left Charlie Christie a little baffled as to how his side managed to come away with baw-all. Once again, let's imagine Chuck and I met over creamola foam and crumpets rather than me just reading something he told a proper journalist. So Chaz told me: "The players are really feeling down. But if we keep playing like that we are a match for anybody. There are a huge amount of positives to take. We matched the league champions face to face, toe to toe." And I am a real journalist, I've got a certificate and everything.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kilmarnock

While Falkirk mourn so Killie celebrate. They're in the CIS Cup final by Jove. And they've got Steven Naismith to thank after he snagged a hat-trick in the 3-0 win. But he's not snadging all the credit, oh no: "I'm the one who scored the goals and gets the headlines, but the team did superbly. And especially Colin Nish. He set up all three of my goals I think. It is my first hat-trick and it is a fantastic achievement to get to a cup final at such an early age." Well bless you for sharing the credit Steven, but frankly that last sentence was utter drivel. If you were ten years old maybe, but you've been around for at least two years now. Tchoh.

In exciting transfer news, Killie have signed Willie Gibson from Queen of the South. The 22 year-old 'tricky winger' won't be joining the Rugby Park club until March 1 though so he can help the Doonhamers in their Scottish Cup campaign. Other than that I have no knowledge of him. Sorry, I do my best but sometimes even I can't be bothered.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Motherwell

Hurrah, Motherwell look like signing a player - and a Hungarian one at that. *prepares bunting, invests in sausage rolls and hires hurdy-gurdy player*. He's Krisztian Vadocz and he's arriving from Auxerre, who we know are quite good so Well may have snagged a bargain. Let's pass this over to my favourite Maurice for comment: "I took a call from an agent on Saturday about another player, but he told me about Krisztian. I phoned a couple of people and they told me that he is an excellent player. He was the captain of the Hungarian Under-21 side and I remember being in charge of a Scotland side who got thumped by them and thought he must be decent enough. It has been a surprise that we managed to get anything done." Awww bless. What does give me pause is the style of agenting going on there. "Ronaldinho says he doesn't like the look of Lanarkshire, but how about something in a Hungarian? Hmmmm? You like the Hungarian, Maurice? I give you good price."

Scott McDonald is apparently quite happy to stay at Motherwell: "As far as I am concerned I am still at Motherwell, it's nice to be linked to other clubs but my focus is to do my best for Motherwell. During the transfer window I have never given a thought about leaving." Rubbish. You must have thought about it, even if just to say that you hadn't thought about it. So stop telling lies. Oh and look down the page, that's it, just there *points to Rangers bit*. Shocking.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rangers

It's finally happened then. I for one couldn't sleep all month for wondering where Kevin Thomson would jump ship to. Celtic? Rangers? West Brom? Hearts of Oak? Havnar Boltefelag? Then he signed for Rangers for £2 million. Wicked. I suppose we'd better see what he's got to say for himself: "As soon as it came to the table that I had the option of playing here [I presume at this point he means Ibrox, but he could mean Leith Links for all I know] then I didn't need any other options. There's been a lot of speculation surrounding my future in recent weeks, but I'm just delighted to be here [Ibrox I suppose, could be Burger King]. It's a massive club. As a boy, you always dream of playing for a big club like Rangers as it is the pinnacle of Scottish football." The pinnacle Kev? I'm fairly sure Celtic are 19 points clear at the pinnacle of Scottish football. Delusion...nice.

Scott McDonald sadly missed out on a move to the Gers. A last minute £400,000 bid for the Motherwell striker just wasn't enough to tempt Big Maurice into parting with the Australian. But McDonald is gutted: "When my agent called to tell me what was happening, I was on top of the world. It's so hard for me to take. But it's up to Motherwell to call the shots. Hopefully, I can get over this." Chin up Scott, I mean granted you'll probably never get another chance to go to Ibrox, but it looks like Southend still want you. Go on the Shrimpers.

A late bid for Alan Gow was also turned down, but the Falkirk attacker is more than likely to sign a pre-contract agreement with the Bears anyway. Then he'll join them in the summer. Unlike Scott McDonald. Poor Scott.

One bit of late business did manage to sneak through, the signing of Danish striker Adda Djeziri. No, I've no idea either. He's there on loan till the end of the season.

There really is a bit of a cull going on at Ibrox. That's Lionel Letizi's contract been terminated 'by mutual agreement'. Mutual agreement indeed. "Lionel, you've been mince, here's a couple of quid, close the door on the way out"..."Oh, ok".

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
St Mirren

From the very depths of despair last week to the very peaks of coruscating joy this week. Well as joyous as you can be after signing two players from Clyde for an undisclosed fee. Stephen O'Donnell and Eddie Malone have signed on at the Buddies and friendly giant Gus MacPherson couldn't be more delighted. "We're really delighted, especially as this deal has been going for a wee while now. They bring in competition for places and I hope they relish the challenge." I've never really understood the concept of the undisclosed fee, well ok, I understand what it means, not being an idiot and all, but I don't get the point. If it's to hide how much money St Mirren have at their disposal it seems fairly pointless. We all know they have next to naff all, so let's stop this shilly-shallying and talk cash. It excites me.

Gus MacPherson is less than thrilled by his side's performance in the home defeat to Aberdeen: "The first half was the worst we have played all season. We need to look at it and try and find out why. Against any team, never mind Aberdeen, you can' expect to play like that and get anything out the game. The second half we can accept, if Kirk Broadfoot had scored early on it would have been a different game." Well no, it would have been the same game, but the score would have been different.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

from scotsman