[all_funkt_up]

Some more transfer tosh, courtesy of football 365:

MALOUDA FOR LIVERPOOL
The Independent also reckons that Liverpool are interested in signing Florent Malouda - without quite going as far to state that the Reds will definitely bid for the France international. Instead, the player 'has emerged as a test of Liverpool's transfer resolve this summer with Rafael Benitez hoping to beat a host of leading European clubs to the £10m-rated Lyon midfielder'.

Rafa has publicly called on the club to get their act together in the transfer market and a move for the in-demand Malouda, who is believed to want to leave the French champs, 'would represent a statement of intent from the Americans - far more effectively than their public assurances have done - if they can conclude a deal in the face of intense competition for the Lyon winger.'


CROUCH VOWS HE IS STAYING
Just a day after suggesting that he would be allowed to leave Liverpool for Newcastle, The Times reports that 'Peter Crouch has been reassured about his Liverpool future by Rafael Benítez.'

"He's [Benítez] told me I'm part of his plans and that's good enough for me," Crouch is quoted as saying. "At a club like Liverpool, there's going to be competition for places, especially as the manager likes to chop and change."
It's difficult to know if these are either exclusive or fresh quotes, but Mediawatch has filed them away for future use regardless.

The Daily Telegraph carries the interesting little nugget that Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher have gone over Rafa's head and asked George Gillett to bring Michael Owen back from Newcastle United this summer.

The paper says Gillett is keen but Benitez is less enthusiastic and 'any deal is unlikely'.


BORO DESPERATE TO SIGN A THUG
If Middlesbrough can't sign Joey Barton, says the Daily Mirror, they'll move for the only man in the Premiership who can compete with him in the thuggery stakes - Fulham's Michael Brown.

And if they can't land the man who headbutts or ankle-snaps someone every time the Gossip Column watches a Fulham game, they'll presumably try to bring in Mike Tyson.


HEINZE MEANS BUSINESS
The Gabriel Heinze to Real Madrid story just won't go away.

After the Argentinian was quoted yesterday as saying he was "sure" ManYoo would accept a good offer for him, the Daily Express thinks he's going to save them the bother.

They claim the left back will become the first high-profile player to take advantage of the very dodgy, very unclear law that allows a player to buy himself out his contract.

Heinze would have to pay United about £4million to secure his release.


SANCHEZ UNSURPRISINGLY LINKED WITH EVERY NORN IRISH PLAYER
The Daily Star reckons David Healy will join Fulham this week after the Premiership club agreed to pay Leeds £1m for the Norn Iron striker.

It's just the latest in a long line of Norn Irish players Sanchez has been linked to since taking the post. This weekend also saw rumours of a move for Aaron Hughes, who lost his place in the Aston Villa side to the on-loan Phil Bardsley in January and is expected to find himself behind a new right back in the Villa Park pecking order this summer.


AND THE REST
Ruud Gullit has become the latest big name to register his interest in the vacant manager's job at Man Citeh...Everton are set to bid £3m for Sheffield Wednesday defender Frankie Simek...Steve Bruce is prepared to offer Charlton winger Jerome Thomas a £1.8m Premiership lifeline...Berti Vogts wants Newcastle to throw the book at AWOL striker Obafemi Martins. Nigeria boss Vogts is fuming after his star man failed to arrive for a warm-up game ahead of a vital African Nations Cup clash with Uganda on Saturday...Phil Jagielka will meet new Sheffield United boss Bryan Robson this week - and tell him he wants to join Everton...Marcello Lippi is the clear favourite for the Juventus job.