I do have kids actually. The lad happens to be a very good footballer.Academy standard in fact.
Why haven't I mentioned it? Because it's fucking boring to anyone who doesn't know him, that's why.
In the same way as listening to women cooing about little Johnny being able to count up to 20 already and he's only seven. Shut the fuck up you stupid bitch.
I have a woman at work who, every time she picks up the phone, has to drop into conversation that her little 8 year old grandson is a "brilliant little goalkeeper". Not that she's ever seen him or would even know a football from a rugby bll. I've managed to bite my tongue so far but it's only a matter of time before I inform her that the only reason kids end up in goal is because they're fucking useless at football.