Im so depressed. So depressed that i can't even fathom things. I went to the dentist yesterday and my crown has fell out already. Sums everything up. I can't become a tramp. I like staying in houses. Shit everything has really went tits up. I havent paid any rent nor my fines in 5 weeks either. Im just sitting here waiting for...well i dunno. Ive managed to put away a wee bit of money due to having a good 4 weeks playing poker (that and not paying my rent and fines
) so i am in better shape than i have been. I can't get a live-in bar job as i do like to be online and yes i do want to get
TDP moving forward. I should take the gypsy's advice and give everything up but when you think of it
TDP is all i have had to live for for too long. Why throw it all away? Don't mind me im just trying to get a grip of things. Im going to go to the citizen's advice tomorrow for what it's worth. No offence to them but the twice ive been there i have got some old biddy that knows less than me about how to help me. I can't get a job as they don't like people turning up drunk for work and i can't see how i wont turn up drunk if at all. Aye i see now that
TDP and the internet is my only way out of it. I need to get a flat and then start getting serious online. Serious on here (just posting) and serious with my poker. I need to get back on the sick as thats what i am. They shouldnt expect me to work as i can't. Ok so i think ive sorted that out. I get a flat and an internet connection.
Whats been wrong in my past doing this? I dont leave the house and my body is festering. So i need to start leaving the house and i need exercise. I will but a weight bench and do weights as i post and play. Maybe i could do 1 hour of walking religiously a day. I might have to go homeless though. No i can't. I need to go and sign on in a new area and get a flat. It's that simple. k so my plans are go and see the CAB tomorrow and explain everything. No matter what happens it doesnt matter as as from the 30th all my probs of now will be old probs. I will have a new flat and a new landlord. Referances will be a bugger but i suppose you can make them up. Have i resolved things here? They dont feel resolved. Im sorry but im going to the shop and im getting a bottle of rum. Some rum and some ice and i'll get my crystal glass out. I will play poker and hang about Gen Chat and for a few hours life will seem ok. Tomorrow i will CAB it and then Friday i will work on my Scottish football coupon. Aye things could be worse. Oh i will get a docs appointment tomorrow too. So i go to Glasgow or Ayr, ask to sign on, get an appointment to start signing, get a flat, pay the deposit, put in the forms and then explain to the social i can't work (which i can't) and see if i can get on the sick. If i have to stay on the dole then they will see i cant do interviews etc. Bottom line is i need to keep winning at poker. thats it. That and posting here. I wont get involved in threads like my mods one and im sorry about that. I need to remove myself somewhat from the place. aye thats what i will do.
soz dont mind me i was just looking for direction. as you can see i don't have that many places to go.