Its been a much neglected rumour mill of late and for that I apologise - here's some crazy odds and sods from today's papers:
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Barcelona midfielder Deco is poised to sign for Chelsea in a £15m deal that is likely to clear the way for Frank Lampard to leave Stamford Bridge for Inter. (Mail on Sunday)
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How can a club with no manager and therefore no one in charge of transfers, buy players?
At any normal club, surely its the manager who decides who he needs and therefore who to buy or what positions to buy in?
Oh hang on, this isnt any normal club.
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Jose Mourinho has made Liverpool midfielder Steven Gerrard a £30m summer target but the Inter Milan boss has been told he would be wasting his time making an official bid. (News of the World)
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Yes please - however the fact that its come from the Sunday S*n would leave me to think its just Chris Bascombe clutching at straws here.
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Mourinho has plenty of other options with Blackburn winger David Bentley joining Chelsea's Ashley Cole, Frank Lampard and Ricardo Carvalho on his wish list. (News of the World)
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David Bentley?
Are you having a fucking laugh here or what???
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Liverpool's owners have told manager Rafael Benitez that striker Peter Crouch can leave the club for £10m. (News of the World)
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I reckon he'll be a pompey player before the week's out.
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Arsenal are lining up a £3.5m bid for Newcastle goalkeeper Shay Given. (News of the World)
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At that price, an awesome awesome buy.