Sports Nicknames - 10 Worst

[kompressaur]

I cant think of any but im gonna have a read of this.

Top 10 - Worst nicknames
01 August 2005
By CAMERON McMILLAN
What makes a good team nickname? Is it the historical significance, the fear it inspires in the opposition or that your fans can proudly belt it out during a game?

Whether it's the rulers of the animal world (lions, tigers, bears, panthers), conquering armies (vikings, warriors, kings, crusaders, knights), or extreme weather patterns (hurricanes, lightning, storm), names are a huge part of a team.

You may think team names are more important for fans than players, but I'm sure a sportsperson would have second thoughts about joining a team called the Rabbitohs or Mighty Ducks.

There is a consistent pattern in this week's top ten - most teams listed languish near the bottom half of their respective competitions. Proof perhaps of how important a name is.

10 - All international nicknames
Except for the All Blacks no other international teams should have nicknames. They should be proud enough to go by their own name. So number 10 includes all the nicknames for international teams that are conjured up just for marketing campaigns. This includes Black Sticks, Black Caps, Black Sox, All Whites, White Ferns, Tall Blacks, Tall Ferns and the Silver Ferns. Also included are international teams such as the Wallabies, Springboks, Pumas and The Dream Team.

9 - Auckland Diamonds (netball)
They say diamonds are a girl's best friend but what do they have to do with netball or Auckland? With Auckland boasting a large number of creative advertising companies you'd think its teams would have better nicknames. Definite lack of historical affiliation and sends no fear into the opposition.
Performance: Finished third in the National Bank Cup but it was the first time in six years that the Auckland based franchise had reached the semifinals.

8 - South Sydney Rabbitohs (league)
One of the least intimidating nicknames in all of sports. What can a rabbit do? It can breed like mad and outnumber you within months or it can rip up your rose garden. The club does hold the record for most NRL titles but have been hit by a calicivirus of late, not winning the competition since 1971.
Performance: Currently sit second to last on the NRL table. A good position considering they won back-to-back wooden spoons in 2003 and 2004.

7 - Tottenham Hotspurs (soccer)/ San Antonio Spurs (basketball)
What are spurs? They are a shoe accessory that only Texans or people going to dress up parties wear. Why not choose other parts of the shoe to name yourself after like the Laces or the Tongues? You'd think there were better cowboy accessories that they could have named themselves after. How about a gun?
Performance: The name seems to work for San Antonio who won the NBA title this season but hasn't helped Tottenham too much who finished 9th last season and haven't won the Premier League since the 1960-61 season.

6 - Taranaki Mountain Airs (basketball)
Any nickname that doubles as a pun is definitely a no-no. They should have just gone with Mountaineers but the fact that they break the name up to work with the sport makes it all that much lamer. The only thing that saves it is the abbreviation to the Airs which sounds a little bit better.
Performance: 2005 was one of their best NBL seasons in years. Unfortunately that meant they finished sixth with a 50 per cent win-loss record.

5 - New York Knicks (basketball)
Knicks is an abbreviation of knickerbockers. That's right underwear. The New York Undies if you want. The name traces back to the Dutch settlers who arrived in New York in the 1600s. The style of pants they wore were rolled up just below the knee. Great historical affiliation but not very intimidating.
Performance: The Knicks finished bottom of the Atlantic Division in the NBA's Eastern Conference with a 33-49 win-loss record and haven't won a playoff game in five years.

4 - Collingwood Pies (Aussie rules)
Short for Magpies, Collingwood is one of the oldest clubs in the AFL and are steeped in history. But the Pies gives an image of a team running out draped in pastry and tomato sauce. In other words, a team that would be eaten up by the opposition. One team that should go without the abbreviation.
Performance: Have a rich history in the AFL competition but sit near the bottom of the table this season with only five wins from 18 games.

3 - Cleveland Browns (American football)
Okay, the Blues and the Reds are bad enough but the Browns. Not the best colour to be named after. The team also pair the nickname with a horrible brown and orange uniform, adding to the fact that they are the laughing stock of the NFL.
Performance: Had a forgettable season last year recording a 4-12 win-loss record and have only made the playoffs twice in the last 12 years.

2 - Auckland Aces (cricket)
What is it with Auckland teams being named after playing cards? (see Diamonds and Kingz). The Aces have been dealt a poor hand, coming up against solid nicknames the Knights, Stags, Firebirds, Wizards and Volts every season.
Performance: Won the State Championship last season after winning only won game in the one-day competition.

1 - Sydney Swans (Aussie rules)
A swan has a long flexible neck, short legs and spends all day swimming in public ponds and feasting on leftover bread. Yeah, just what you want to be named after for a game like Aussie rules. Disregarding eagles and hawks, there are very few birds that make a good nickname. The Swans would be okay for a women's netball team but not for a men's team which play in one of the most physical competitions on the planet. Only the flamingos could be a worse name.
Performance: The Swans are having quite a good season sitting in fourth place but haven't won a title since 1933.