Karl-Heinz Rumour Mill

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Mikael Silvestre has told manager Sir Alex Ferguson he wants to leave Manchester United after being left out of the team for the Community Shield. (Sunday Express)

Barcelona are set to launch a new bid to lure Chelsea midfielder Frank Lampard to the Nou Camp. (News of the World)

Sunderland manager Roy Keane will move for his ex-Manchester United team-mate Andy Cole. (People, News of the World)

Real Madrid will make a £28m double raid for Chelsea stars Michael Ballack and Arjen Robben. (Sunday Express)

Manchester City boss Sven-Goran Eriksson is to make a last-ditch bid for Liverpool keeper Scott Carson. (Daily Mail)

West Ham are ready to splash out £9m for Barcelona's former Chelsea striker Eidur Gudjohnsen. (Sunday Mirror)

Up to 10 Premier League clubs are chasing the signature of 6ft 4in, 18-year-old Argentine wonderkid Franco Di Santo - described as the new Maradona. (Sunday Mirror)

Chelsea are to use the money from the sale of Michael Ballack and Arjen Robben to buy Sevilla's Brazilian star Dani Alvez. (People)

West Ham will step up their interest in Reading left-back Nicky Shorey. (People)

Arsenal have turned down a £10m bid from Valencia for midfielder Gilberto Silva. (People)

New manager Sam Allardyce might be forced to sell striker Obafemi Martins to ease Newcastle's cash crisis. (News of the World)

Kieron Dyer's move to West Ham fell through because Newcastle were unhappy the Hammers were "boasting" the sale had gone through. (Sunday Express)

Rangers have tabled a £1m offer to Portsmouth for 32-year-old Serb defender Dejan Stefanovic. (People)

Big-spending Fulham are chasing Blackburn's £4m-rated striker Jason Roberts. (Sunday Mirror)

Aston Villa are close to securing the capture of Hearts goalkeeper Craig Gordon. (Sunday Mirror)

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Allardyce is quoted in the papers today saying that they decided at the 11st hour, Kieron Dyer was worth inexcess of £6m.

Funny that, because most of the footballing world was remarking on how they have done well to shift him at all - let alone get what they paid for him in the first instance.

They have whacked another £2m on the price now. A very unsporting thing to do at the last minute IMO.

Newastle will not sell Dyer for £8m. Fact. Not even West Ham would be stupid enough to pay that.

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Up to 10 Premier League clubs are chasing the signature of 6ft 4in, 18-year-old Argentine wonderkid Franco Di Santo - described as the new Maradona. (Sunday Mirror)

The new Maradona at 6ft4? Anyway, I thought Messi was the new Maradona? He even scored the hand of god goal to prove it.

Is there some law somewhere that every decent Argentian prospect must be described as the new Maradona?

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There is mate. I remember Riquelme being dubbed the new Maradonna and indeed wasnt that D'Alessandro that played for Pompey last season, dubbed Le Nouveau Maradonna as well.

Not that they like to put pressure on em...

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Manchester City are set to solve their goalkeeping crisis by signing Marco Amelia in a £5m deal from Livorno, while also landing Australian midfielder Mark Bresciano for £3m from Palermo. (Various)

Manchester United defender Gabriel Heinze, who wants to join Liverpool, has been ordered to turn up to training on Monday for showdown talks over his future. (The Sun)

Sunderland are targeting Tottenham striker Mido. (Various)

Manager Sam Allardyce has insisted Newcastle will hold out for £8m for midfielder Kieron Dyer or his move to West Ham is off. The Magpies upped the fee from £6m at the 11th hour after deciding Dyer was undervalued. (Various)

Everton are confident of snapping up Wigan defender Leighton Baines for £6m this week. (Various)

Manchester City have turned down a bid from Middlesbrough for striker Georgios Samaras. (Daily Mirror)

Everton will discover later this week if an £11m bid for Porto midfielder Luis Gonzalez has been successful. (Daily Express)

Portsmouth are ready to sell midfielder Gary O'Neil, with Fulham leading the chase for his signature. (Daily Mirror)

Pretty shit rumours today.

None of the big boys involved, so it aint worth reading.

[rcgills]

Mikael Silvestre has told manager Sir Alex Ferguson he wants to leave Manchester United after being left out of the team for the Community Shield. (Sunday Express)

Oh dear. Someone's crystal ball wasn't working on Saturday night when they went to press, was it? Or maybe Ferguson read the story on Sunday morning and thought he'd better put Silvestre in just to keep him happy.

They just make these stories up really, don't they

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Ha ha ha.

Its funny because both he and Heinze apparently want out. He would go from an embarassment of riches at left back, to a defensive crisis and would need to sign someone as cover.

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Looks like Karl-Heinz was up and about before the people at the Beeb today. Here's the rest of the tabloid tittle tattle:

Sunderland are also chasing Gordon, while they aim to boost their attack with the signing of Tottenham striker Mido in a £6m deal. (Various)

Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho will let unsettled midfielder Lassana Diarra leave the club, but will not sanction a move to rivals Arsenal. (Telegraph)

Young Gunners striker Carlos Vela has joined Osasuna on loan. (Various)

Portsmouth are not interested in bring re-signing striker Yakubu. (Telegraph)

Derby are tracking Sheffield United striker Jon Stead and Portsmouth defender Andy O'Brien. (Telegraph)

Portsmouth are ready to sell midfielder Gary O'Neil. Fulham are keen. (Mirror)

Fulham are set for a double swoop on Watford. They want to sign Jay De Merit and Hameur Bouazza. (Telegraph)

Blackburn will block Fulham's moves for striker Jason Roberts. (Telegraph)

Celtic striker Derek Riodran is set for a move to Sheffield Wednesday. (Record

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Und ya, ve are here viz ze tranzfer rumours from zee Engerlish premiershippen.

Please be enjoy

Gabriel Heinze told Sir Alex Ferguson on Monday he wants to move to Liverpool - Fergie told him that would never happen. (Various)

Plenty more fish in the sea. I will say though that United's conduct throughout has pissed me off. Not the fact that they wont sell Heinze, just that they come accross holier than thou, preaching about loyalty to the club that has treated him so well etc. He owes us one etc etc.

Where was the loyalty when they were trying to flog him in May. Where was the loyalty when they handed his agent a letter, instructing him to find a new club. Cunts

Antonio Cassano, the Real Madrid forward, has been offered to West Ham and Bolton. (The Times)

Much was expected of Cassano when he came through the Roma ranks as a youngster. I think the fact that he is a complete bell-end has held him back somewhat. Still a very talented player thoough.

West Ham are desperately trying to revive their interest in Newcastle's Kieron Dyer by offering £6m up front. (Daily Star)

If Curbs knows what's good for him, he will stay well clear.

Am I the only one that thinks that Newcastle have been underhand with this Dyer deal?

Why agree a fee of £6m, let the player agree terms with a club and then at the last minute, decide to "re-value" him at 25% more? Earlier in the week, Allardyce had said regarding the deal: "From our point of view and from his it's a satisfactory result."

Not that satisfactory eh Sam, if the deal fell £2m short of the mark.

Real Madrid's £40m bid to sign both Michael Ballack and Arjen Robben has collapsed. (Daily Express)

However, Ballack has told Chelsea he will only join Real if they help pay for his switch to Spain. Real are offering him just £91,000-a-week. (Daily Star)

Man City boss Sven-Goran Eriksson will sign Australian midfielder Mark Bresciano from Palermo for £4m. (Independent)

Fulham have agreed a £3.5m deal to sign Watford winger Hameur Bouazza. (Various)

Aston Villa have launched an £8m bid for West Brom defender Curtis Davies. (Daily Star)

Sunderland boss Roy Keane will find out on Tuesday if he has won the race to sign Hearts' keeper Craig Gordon. (The Sun)

Wigan have stepped up their £3m bid for West Brom left-back Paul Robinson after Leighton Baines' exit to Everton. (Daily Star)

Newcastle boss Sam Allardyce will step up his £2.5m pursuit of Serbia defender Ivica Dragutinovic from Sevilla. (Daily Mirror)

Fulham hope to add to their Northern Ireland contingent with a £2m move for Burnley's Kyle Lafferty. (Daily Star)

Southampton defender Pele, 29, is close to joining West Brom for £900,000. (The Sun)

Sheffield Wednesday hope to lure striker Geoff Horsfield from city rivals United with a £400,000 bid. (The Sun)

Soulemayne Diawara is expected to complete a move from Charlton to Bordeaux for about £3m. (The Times)

Manchester United have rejected Hull's bid to take striker Frazier Campbell, 19, on loan. (Various)

West Brom are close to finalising deals worth almost £3m for Stoke's Carl Hoefkens and Middlesbrough's James Morrison. (Daily Star)

Blackburn's Francis Jeffers is expected to join Sheffield Wednesday on Tuesday in a £600,000 deal. (Daily Mirror)

Crystal Palace will sign West Ham striker Hogan Ephraim, 19, on loan before the first game of the season. (Daily Star)

Stoke boss Tony Pulis has targeted Leeds midfielder Eddie Lewis as his next signing. (Daily Mirror)

Swansea are set to sign Liverpool reserve keeper David Martin, 21, on a season-long loan. (Daily Star)

Bolton have rejected a bid from West Brom for Portuguese striker Ricardo Vaz Te. (Daily Mirror)

Yeovil boss Russell Slade is preparing a £100,000 bid to tempt midfielder Ian Craney away from Swansea. (Daily Star)

French club Strasbourg have stepped up their bid to sign Hearts star Ibrahim Tall. (Daily Record)

Celtic striker Derek Riordan has told the club he is not interested in a move to the Championship as he is convinced he can make the grade at Celtic Park. (The Sun)

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However, Ballack has told Chelsea he will only join Real if they help pay for his switch to Spain. Real are offering him just £91,000-a-week. (Daily Star)

Poor sod. Absolutely scandalous isn't it? How do they expect him to get by on just 91k a week?

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RC - arent wages in Spain tax free for footballers?

Sure I read they get very favourable tax breaks over there....

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Everton are closing in on Lucho Gonzalez from Porto. He looks alright , but he's no Andy Van Der Meyde, that's for sure.

YouTube - Lucho Gonzalez, best goals. Argentina, River Plate and Porto

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No idea how things stand with regard to taxes.

Still, while the centre of Madrid may be very expensive by Spanish standards, I bet 91k a week would go a hell of a lot further there than it does in West London.

[crowie]

City and Villa both looking to be in the running for Craig Gordon according to papers/news reports. Reports saying City are willing to go to £10m for him. Don't think there is any doubt he will be away from Hearts now (didn't play last night) and hopefully he doesn't end up at the Mackems and playing Championship football next season.

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He has signed for Sunderland Crowie. Passed a medical last night at the Stadio de Luz, shame for the lad really because I think he's better than that. Championship football next year I tell ye.