Kiko's Paper Gossip Column

[GaNgStA kEeKs]

Tuesday 27th September

Liverpool striker Fernando Morientes has taunted Chelsea by claiming the Blues will not qualify from their Champions League group. (The Sun, Daily Express)

Manchester United assistant Carlos Queiroz has called fans who booed Sir Alex Ferguson 'stupid'. (Various)

United winger Ryan Giggs has had showdown talks with Queiroz after losing his place in the side. (The Sun)

Sir Alex Ferguson is ready to launch a £10m bid to take St Etienne midfielder Didier Zokora to Old Trafford in the January transfer window. (Daily Mirror)

Portsmouth chairman Milan Mandaric will fly home early from a trip to the US to discuss his side's slump with manager Alain Perrin. (Various)

Middlesbrough defender Gareth Southgate says they are a "million miles off being a top six club" after their home defeat by Sunderland. (The Independent)

Wales keeper Danny Coyne faces an uncertain future at international level after his season-ending injury playing for Burnley. (The Independent)

Birmingham midfielder David Dunn has targeted next month's derby with Aston Villa to return from his injury nightmare. (Daily Mirror)

Chelsea have made a £3.5m bid for Borussia Dortmund's 17-year-old Turkish midfielder Nuri Sahin. (Daily Mirror)

Thousands of Everton fans are set to boycott the club's Uefa Cup first round, second leg tie at home to Dinamo Bucharest on Thursday with their side already 5-1 down. (Daily Star)

Inter Milan midfielder Luis Figo says his side are lucky that Rangers striker Nacho Novo is injured for the Champions League match between the sides because he feels he would have been a threat. (Daily Record)

The top-of-the-table Scottish Premier League match between Celtic and Hearts on 15 October will not be shown live on television, which is set to spark a desperate scramble for tickets. (Daily Record)

[GaNgStA kEeKs]

Some very interesting and funny picks in the newspapers today.

First off Morientes is a clown if he really believes Chelsea won't qualify from this group. They are by far a better side than any side in the group and they will prove this by winning most their matches.

Strange one about Giggs - why is he going to Queroz? Shouldnt it be Fergie the man he needs to see?

Dissapointed in the Everton fans. Sort them out Mr M. Should be standing by your side through thick and thin. Believe - last season just cause they were doing well everyone was jumping on the bandwagon. Now they have a poor start and trail, no one wants to know.

Bizarre that the biggest game in the SPL this season isn't going to be screened live. Thats just ridiculous.

And why is Novo always being talked up about being a great player? Figo saying Inter are lucky, i remember the time he was being mentioned as being a Spanish international in a years time or something. Get real, he is an average player at best who misses too many chances.

Tune in tomorow for my thoughts on the paper gossip

[Beanie]

I reckon Figo is taking the piss really...it'll have been one of those days where he won the 'Shortest Willy in the Showers' competition and had to be the one to go out and feed the press as much bullshit as he could fit into 10 minutes...

He says:

'I think Rangers' biggest strength is that they are a physically powerful team.'

He means:

'Erm, they quite shite all round really - and the fact that they are knuckledragging brutes is the closest thing I can think of to a positive attribute.'

He says:

'We will have to be very disciplined.'

He means:

'As long as we don't get 4 men sent off, we'll hump the twats.'

He says:

'It won't be easy.'

He means:

'It will be easy.'

[Kop66]

First off Morientes is a clown if he really believes Chelsea won't qualify from this group. They are by far a better side than any side in the group and they will prove this by winning most their matches.

Not as easy as it sounds qualifying from this group though Kiko and although i agree on league form they might be the best but that doesn't mean they will kick ass in Europe, it's only a bit of mind games after all from Morientes. They will have to be at their best to get anything in the away games.

[all_funkt_up]

Theres a chance that the whole battle between Liverpool and Chelsea could end up with them taking their eyes off the ball. Wouldnt be suprised to see one of them not qualifying from it as a result. Wouldnt want to say which one woulnt go through of course, but they play in blue

[Kop66]

[Winrew]

Two Liverpool fans ?

[GaNgStA kEeKs]

Wednesday 28th September

Arsenal will play Sparta Prague in the Champions League next month with part of the Czech Republic club's stadium closed due to racist chanting. (The Times)

Sunderland have slashed ticket prices to £5 for adults for their Carling Cup tie against Arsenal in October. (Various)

Portsmouth striker Lomano Tresor LuaLua has been confined to a hospital isolation unit with malaria after collapsing while training. (Daily Mirror)

Tottenham are set to hand captain Ledley King a new £13m five-year contract to stop him leaving White Hart Lane. (Daily Mirror)

Wolves boss Glenn Hoddle is in talks with Blackburn about signing Garry Flitcroft on loan for the rest of the season. (Daily Mirror)

Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho says it is his team "against the world" when they play Liverpool in the Champions League at Anfield. (Various)

Everton will rush striker James Beattie back into action for the Uefa Cup tie against Dinamo Bucharest on Thursday. (Daily Star)

Tottenham winger Aaron Lennon has put his flying start in the Premiership down to the guidance of midfield colleague Edgar Davids. (Daily Star)

Bolton manager Sam Allardyce believes mondern-day management is a constant battle against the sack. (The Independent)

Middlesbrough defender Abel Xavier nearly quit the game after suffering alleged racial abuse from Hanover 96 coach Ewald Lienen. (Daily Mail)

Sheffield Wednesday slashed their losses by nearly £1m last season, but were still £2.52m in the red. (The Sun)

[GaNgStA kEeKs]

How good am i - getting you the paper's gossip for you already. No need to buy your paper for the football news tomorow thats for sure

Not much for me today to be honest. Good to see Sunderland slashing the prices of tickets, even if its only a carling cup game. Its a start at least to getting these prices reduced from what they are at the minute.

Lua Lua taking to hospital. I hope the boy dies as nasty as that sounds. Seen the documentary with him in it and his national team. The guys an arrogant prick and a disgrace to his nation. I have no time for him.

The rest is rather dull to be fair. A good reason why the transfer window should be scrapped. I used to love reading a paper in the morning with all the transfer rumours. Only get that through the summer and a month in January now

[MickeyPaul]

Got plenty of news links on front page now if that helps anyone.

[GaNgStA kEeKs]

Fuck off Mickey and don't try undermining my operation here

[Winrew]

[Kop66]

[GaNgStA kEeKs]

Thursday 29th Septmeber

Arsenal defender Sol Campbell says he is fit and ready to play for England again. (Various)

Norway coach Age Hareide has told Liverpool's John Arne Riise he needs to pull himself together after a poor start to the season. (Daily Mirror)

Bolton striker El Hadji Diouf believes foreign players get tougher treatment from referees than English players in the Premiership. (Daily Mirror)

Newcastle boss Graeme Souness is hoping to sign Deportivo midfielder Aldo Duscher for £1m in January. (Daily Mirror)

Charlton goalkeeper Dean Kiely could make his first appearance of the season on Saturday after a broken finger. (Daily Mail)

Middlesbrough chairman Steve Gibson has rounded on critics of manager Steve McClaren. (Various)

Arsenal midfielder Cesc Fabregas wants to become a legend at the club like Patrick Vieira. (Daily Mirror)

West Ham midfielder Yossi Benayoun says his lack of physical presence has not proved a barrier to success in the Premiership. (The Guardian)

Southampton pair Harry Redknapp and Sir Clive Woodward will appear together at a news conference on Thursday as a show of unity. (Various)

Crystal Palace striker Andy Johnson wants to return from his knee injury against Coventry on 15 October. (The Sun)

Birmingham manager Steve Bruce says he is not pressing the panic button despite just one league win so far. (The Sun)

Newcastle winger Nolberto Solano faces several weeks out after discovering his thigh injury requires rest. (The Times)

[GaNgStA kEeKs]

Don't worry - any sign of that cnut Mickey Paul and his post will be deleted instantly

So to my wonderful and brilliant column, whats happening in it today? Lets find out

Sol Campbell says he will be fit for England, but will he get his place back? Terry seems to have cemented his position there i would imagine so that leaves a fight with Campbell, Ferdinand and even Carragher. Personally i wouldn't have Ferdinand - too relaxed for my liking. On form it should be Carragher but i somehow don't think he will get the position.

Souness looking to buy another midfielder? Surely having a laugh as they have far too many there at the minute.

Awww isn't that nice of Harry and Woodward. Personalyl i feel sorry for Harry. Must be a right confidence booster have an ex rugby manager on your staff with no football experience what so ever eh?

Not much of interest today - nearly 4am. Im up in 3 hours for the start of uni. Oh dear